Unless it's a good looking man, I find it very hard to listen to people in general. Unless the material pertains to me, I'm checked out in some way. I'm not a selfish person, just surrounded by a lot of conversation where there is no real end game or point to what is being said.
Recently I found it particularly hard to listen to a student of mine who was telling me a family story. Actually this reminds me that I should probably apologize to her for cutting her off. When we have down time in class it gives students a chance to chatter while others are catching up to the rest of the work. On this day, I had a student who told me the longest story ever about her family and trips to the bingo hall. It was easy to hear the information and assign it meaning on a few levels, and it was easy to evaluate and pick out what the point may have been. It was hardest in this situation, and others like it, to give feedback. Because I don't really have and interest in what is being said, and because these people are long winded, I have trouble responding because I don't want the conversation to continue. I'm not quite sure how to overcome it while maintaining the relationship and being professional, but I do have a few ideas. I think, for one, that this type of interaction might be due to a lack of attention in other areas. If I give these students more praise and attention in class, they may feel less of a need to grab attention during out down time. More immediately, I suppose I could just ask her, "what do people usually say when you tell them this story?"
It could offer up a good idea while letting her know that I would rather talk about a mutual topic during class.
Hey Blanch,
ReplyDeleteI hate to say it, but relate to the first thing you said in this post. When I talk to a girl that I think is attractive, I seem to gain superhuman listening powers haha. Not that I don't pay attention to other people during conversations, but the looks seem to help my ability to focus haha.
I think your idea to give more praise in class is a good one because the kids will probably feel more fulfilled and in less need of attention. The sensing component of listening can certainly be difficult when someone is being long-winded and talking about something that we have no interest in because, in my experiences, I tend to filter out things that aren't important.
Cheers!
Hi Blanch! I thought your post was very entertaining yet very insightful. I agree that listening can be extremely difficult especially if the person you're listening to is incredibly boring or simply talks to much. Your examples made me laugh because I've done this so many times to random strangers and even my friends! With listening comes feedback, so I understand where you were coming from when you said it was difficult to give that person feedback simply because you weren't paying attention. I believe this is the main reason why we always find ourselves in conversation saying things such as, "Uh-huh" "Oh yeah" "Mmhmm" "Sure". For myself and many others, I'm sure overcoming this kind of habit will be pretty tough. Unless the message or conversation intrigues you in some sort of amazing way, you will probably continue to "listen" without really listening. In the text, it stated that a big importance of overcoming or fixing this habit of listening is to notice it and act upon it. Even though it seems like a simple task to overcome, I think it's going to take a lot of practice and patience to fix the problem entirely. As long as you were able to spot it, that's great! I'm glad you were able to elaborate your personal experiences and know your listening habits. Overall, I thought you post was very informative and funny. Keep it up and listen up! ;)
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