The Man in The Middle

The importance of a consultant or observer has never been more clear than after spending time in a mediation class this semester. In mediation, much like in group observation, the objective is to gain information so that everyone who is involved in the process can gain a better understanding of everyone's needs before reaching a solution that everyone can agree to and that is in everyone's best interest. The role of the outside party is to be sure that there are not descisions being made that might be harmful in ways that the many poeple could not understand from being a member. Having a person from the outside means that conclusions can be drawn by an unbiased party. It is impossible to leave out all feeling we have about a group we are a part of. An outside party can help a group see things for what they really are. They can put you in a place of objectivity instead of interpretation. In a state of interpretation we are untilizing our own experience and knowlegde, in a more productive state of observation and consulting, we can see things as they are; effective ideas, or not so effective ideas.

Peer Pressure

We have been dealing with the pressure to conform since we were able to talk. When communication begins, so does lying and the like. One time that stands out to me id a bit gross, days a lot about my brother, and is embarrassing  My brother and my older cousins were always leaving me out of the hangouts, so I would do anything to be included. Knowing this, my brother and cousins would make me do all the grunt work. This included such tasks as; torturing the neighbor Angie via squirting her with mustard, throwing  a pie at my dads boss on Halloween, calling the kids from their classes to embarrass and torture, and picking up a piece of rogue poop out of the toilet (the first of which I remember). I would do it all over again. I got rewarded by getting to hang out and prove my worth. These days the thing I do to conform are a lot less fun. They are usually just agreeing with what everybody wants to do to make a person happy, to appear easy going, are just to move on to the next subject. Not rewarding.

White Women of Privilege

As a white woman, I really don't care for this expression. Maybe I don't like it because it's true. Maybe I don't like it because it's a stereotype, but I don't like it. To suggests that white men have been dealt a better hand in history is true, but to suggests that it means white means being privileged is not so true. It's sad to think that any one biological trait could make or break you. It also has an undertone that suggest that certain privilege could make you better than someone else, and that is not the case at all. Money and status are not a privilege: health, good company, nature to spend time in, laughter, and family are things that the white men of privilege lack. These are the things that can only come from being humble, and the more diverse our country gets, the more you see this every color of family. It's time we get away from seeing each other as part of a race and start seeing each other as part of one world. We all want to be the best we can be, so let privilege be defined by your own experiences and not by money alone.

Tomato, Tomoto

Valuing diversity does not seem to come very easy to the people I know, but it's not in the way you might assume. Diversity is easy to understand. We do it all the time when we evaluate instead of judge, but Value in something is different than understanding something. In the United States we are faced with diversity all the time and the most hard to value is the diversity that challenges and competes with us. In many cases we can look around an appreciate the different ideas around us, but when one of those ideas challenges our values or gets in the way of our own idea taking the cake, conflict can arise. More often than not, this difference in diversity is among state lines rather than country lines. It is expected that we will have to adjust to cultures of another nation, but we are thrown for a loop when the difference in culture is with the unpredictable. Diversity is hard to value because we are not always aware that it is what we are facing. When I work with people from the west coast verses the east coast, I get very different modes of communication and style and it is hard to adjust because I am not conditioning myself or going into the communication with an open mind for diversity. Instead I expect things to be simple. When working with international clients, I am already sitting back and waiting for my chance to open and accept new ideas and ways. The best way to value diversity is to expect it at every corner, even the corners you have gone around everyday.

Fuse Together, Fall Together

I was amazed to read the consequences of cohesiveness. Too much cohesion in a group can ultimately lead to it's destruction. In the early stages of a group coming together and team building, the decision making process is improved, but should the group get to close, the opposite becomes true in an effort to maintain and protect the group cohesion and the people in it. Much like a husband agrees to cover for a murder his wife committed, when  group becomes to close, its efforts and decisions are geared toward protecting only that. It can happen very easily. Lets take a hypothetical situation: a new employee comes into an established group. This person is new and has ideas for improvement and change. The group sees these improvements as a threat to the existing situation. After a short time, even great and simple ideas that could help the group grow are turned down out of spite and need for protection. Soon this person feels rejected and even discriminated against. Even though the color of that persons skin had no bearing on the way they were treated, the group could quickly find itself facing employment discrimination charges without ever knowing they were guilty of it. Group think is how groups get convinced of following through with things that are in the best interest of the group instead of the best interest of others and the growth of the group. This is happening all the time and it has an up and down, or cyclical, effect. If you watch closely the groups around you, they go through ups and downs that are often land marked  by a person coming or going from group think that forms for a short time.

The Ins and Outs

With new ideas and new standards comes the reasons why we can or cannot get them done. An internal constraint is something that happens within the group dynamic or function that keeps you from performing at the level needed for success. An external constraint is something outside of the groups control that hinders success or creates a challenge. They are both challenges a group faces, but one is created or is a result of the group itself, and the other not. An example might be; my company wants to increase the number of enrollments this year. An internal constraints would be the space we have in the building, the number of teachers we have to take on more students, the credentials of each teacher to take on more classes, the budget we have for hiring and the ratings we get from alumni. External constraints would be the number of competitive schools in the area, the economic demand for the graduates in our industry, the max salary that our graduates make in the US, the federal funding limits given by the government, the rates of the other schools in the area. They are all challenges, but they are not all ones that we can do anything about. We work with what we have and hope that the external constraints are in our favor when new ideas and challenges arise.

the Norms

At San Jose State, the norms are ones of courtesy and technology. It is the norm that you don't bother someone while they are working in the cafeteria or the halls. You would assume that they are concentrating on homework of reading. Another is that you bring your technology everywhere you go, especially to group meetings assigned for class and that you bring you computer to class. It seems simple, but if someone from your project groug said that they left their computer at home, it would be weird. We might not say anything, but there is a certain assumption we might make about that person. It might even frustrate you or the group to have one person going against this norm. 

I the groups I have outside of school, some of our norms are similar, being that they are ones of courtesy and technology. We text each other with plans and meeting points instead of calling and use email to coordinate larger events. When there is a get together at someones house, it is the norm to bring something along . These things started by simply saying “yes” when you are asked “Can I bring anything?”. Texting is something we do because of a larger group that is our generation. All the same, they are a couple of our norms. If I were missing calls from my group of friends during work, i might even assume something was wrong because I expect to get and make plans through text as we all have such different schedules that don't allow us to answer the phone.